she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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