Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
