i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
