I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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