Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
