Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
