Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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