can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She bit a glass in half.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
