I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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