Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
