Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
