I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
