Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
