ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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