i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
