I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
