Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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