yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
