That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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