hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
