that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize