Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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