white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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