So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
