I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize