you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
