You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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