Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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