i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
