what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
