he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
