please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
