it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
