Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
