PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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