someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
