We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize