He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just found puke in my bra..
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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