just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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