he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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