and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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