yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
