So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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