i'm signing you up for texting rehab
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
