Dual....:-)
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
