What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
