Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize