I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
