she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize