I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
