I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
