I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
