dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I have fence marks all over my body
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
