Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
