It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
