you win again, gameday.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
