The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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