Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
