he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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