She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
