my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The power of my boobs compel you
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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